Is the rubber band helping?

"....whhhyyyy?...."

I know what you're thinking, "Oh my god, she's back...," but no need to worry. Things aren't as emotional today and thanks to the rubber band technique, I didn't have a panic attack while riding the bus! How amazing is that, I had only just started to utilize this technique and it's already helping me out a lot. I'm thinking that as I continue to utilize this tool, I will be able to stop hating and being so hard on myself, helping with my disorganized speech/thoughts and will reinforce good positive thinking/behavior. 

For those of you who aren't familiar with the rubber band technique, I will explain but it's super easy and simple. 

"That looks like it hurts... why would you do that to yourself?"

 A good question, one does this to adjust/correct a behavior or way of thinking. In my case I self-hate a lot, by using this technique I can stop this hateful talk and instead replace it with a positive comment about myself. I am using this for a number of reasons, first the disorganized speech which is interfering with my performance at work, the panic attacks, the binge eating, and of course the self-hating. At any point throughout the day, if I start to hate on myself, feel anxious, trip over my words or have the urge to eat, I will snap the band on my wrist. This is creating a negative association with the bad behavior and then I need to replace the negative with a positive behavior. So let's say while working on this blog I start to think to myself, "You're stupid, there's no way anything is going to change." That is when I snap the rubber band on my wrist and tell myself, "No, you're smart and loving, you are going to turn over a new leaf and things are going to get better!" 

And I must say that it has been quite useful so far, I've used it already when I start to stumble over my words or when my brain gets stuck and it works! Though I will say, depending on who you are and how your body reacts to it, the rubber bands bruises the inside of my wrist quite easily. But then again, I was snapping the rubber band all day yesterday due to anxiety concerning my work review coming up.I ended up re-doing my self-assessment form after I had received the concern about my disorganized speech. I then felt that my previous ratings were too high, which the majority was 3 (only average). None of my ratings went above a 3 but after receiving a talk with my supervisor, I convinced myself that I wasn't worthy of my 3 rating. Don't get me wrong I still have a couple of 3's but the majority is now 2's which is below average but not a 1, the failed rating. Perhaps I was too hard on myself, maybe the majority shouldn't have even been 3's since I do try to go above and beyond for not just my customers but for my fellow employees. Maybe I'm trying too hard...I think I'm trying to hard to prove to my supervisors that I can be an employee that they can count on. 

Most often I don't feel like my supervisors even like me let alone believe that they can count on me. This makes me feel like I'm not doing enough or that I'm a disappointment to them. Either way, it's making me super stressed. But it's not just that, I feel like none of my co-workers really like me. However, I've only been working here for 3 and a half months, so I don't expect to be close with anyone yet. I have even been invited out by some of my colleagues but I've never gone, I always just give some excuse as to why I can't go. The problem is that I feel like I'd be the third wheel, that I'd have nothing exciting to talk to them about (you know, lack of social life and all), and that they only invited me as a courtesy kind of thing. That is something that I have to correct as well, me jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst in people.   

All in all, I have to say that I am thoroughly impressed with how well this technique is working so far and I would recommend it to anyone else who is trying to correct negative behavior/thinking. I had tried other things and it just hadn't work for me, so anyone who has tried and been unsuccessful so far...consider giving this a try. I'm not saying it works for everyone nor that it's going to have quick results. Correcting a behavior/thought that has become normal for someone is difficult to transform into one that is positive. That is why I will say again, that this will take time. Don't expect to see results in a couple of days and stay with it. If you stop because you aren't seeing the results then you probably won't ever see them. Any kind of treatment, whether it's with a rubber band, medication, etc, is going to take time to start having a noticeable effect.

This treatment also works well for anyone who has problems swearing at home, public or at work. If you curse, simply snap the band against your wrist and replace the swear word with a more appropriate show of frustration, pain, sadness, etc. 

"Whoa, language! She doesn't need a rubber band but a muzzle might do."

Yeah, if you're this bad when it comes to cursing...well you might be out of luck....